One of our favourite offbeat commentaries on London Theatreland is Kayleigh Llewellyn’s insider and alternative perspective at My So Called Life In A Box. Documenting her interactions and overheard conversations with the public, during her job at a West-End ticket selling booth, the blog is both insightful and hilarious. Though it consists of ‘found material’ and real-life incidents, Kayleigh self identifies as a “writer, improviser, feminist” and her nuanced sarcasm and astute observation never fails to have us in stitches. Without further ado, here are five of our top recent moments (click on titles for full posts):

ROLL UP, ROLL UP, GET YOUR THEATRE TICKETS —

CITRON

Just had an unsavoury woman stomp in to the shop, dragging three kids under the age of 5 in her wake as she hollered at me (without a hello or please), “where’s the citron theatre? Hurry up ‘cos we’re late!” Upon investigation it was deduced that she was actually looking for the Criterion theatre.

A lack of manners and illiteracy is what’s bringing this country to its knees.

NO.

Customer: Hi, are you doing a broadway tonight?
Me: Sigh.

THIS IS TORTURE.

Customer: Anything for tonight?
Me: Yeah loads, have you got any preferences?
C: Dirty Dancing.
Me: I’ve got some upper circle for £35.
C: What else is good?
Me: Just depends on your tastes. List some shows and I’ll get you prices.
C: Just anything.
Me: Right, well off the top of my head we’ve got some upper circle seats for Bodyguard at £45. Spamalot is £20, Once is £27.
C: What about Charlie?
Me: Only top price seats left at £80.
C: What about Lion King?
Me: Some stalls seats for £50.
C: *Exasperated sigh* So you haven’t got anything then, we’ll have to give it a miss.
Me: Rot.

SUGAR AND SPICE AND ALL THINGS NICE.

Customer: Hello lady. How much is it?
Me: Which one?
C: One that’s funny and nice.
Me: *Eye roll like woah* “funny and nice”? 39 Steps is a comedy.
C: How much is that?
Me: You can get the best seats for £35.
C: WHAT?! £35?!
Me: Yes.
C: Seriously?!
Me: Yes.
C: Are you serious?
Me: No, I’m lying. Yes, I’m serious.
C: Don’t you think that’s a bit expensive?
Me: I think this is the West End of London, the greatest theatre district in the world. £35 isn’t that expensive.

Brilliant. Just brilliant!