Christmas Crackers: Nudity, Burlesque and Potted Dick

Thrills, stockings, drag queens and swingers – Christmas in London never disappoints and this year along with the traditional treats, there are some real crackers to chase the winter blues away.

So while the wine is mulling, the goose is getting fat and the halls are decked with boughs of holly, it’s high time y’all get yourselves into the wonderful West End – here are our top tinselly tips for a Rocking Yule and an unforgettable Xmas!

La Soiree
Spiegeltent, Nearest tube is Leicester Square

La Soiree: Spellbinding cabaret and burlesque...just for grown-ups
La Soiree: Spellbinding cabaret and burlesque…just for grown-ups

LA SOIRÉE showcases the crème de la crème of the cabaret world in a heady cocktail of cabaret, new burlesque, circus sideshow. The stockings are coming off this year, so it’s definitely not for the kids – but oh so much fun for adults!

Gary Williams Swingin’ Christmas
Brasserie Zedel – Nearest tube is Piccadilly Circus, Exit 1

gary-williams
Star of the Rat Pack, Gary Wiliams

Join star of the West End’s ‘Rat Pack’, Gary Williams for A Swingin’ Christmas. Awarded 5 stars by the London Evening Standard. A trip to Brasserie Zedel is always a treat – and you’re sure to spot a few stars amongst the audience.

A Christmas Carol (with Dinner)
Arts Theatre, 6-7 Great Newport Street, London, WC2H 7JB

Fill your boots with Christmas Cheer and as much as you can eat!
Fill your boots with Christmas Cheer and as much as you can eat – A Christmas Carol (with Dinner)!

Follow Scrooge as he tranforms from misanthrope to philanthropist. Watch as ghouls, ghosts and some of Dickens’ most iconic characters come to life on stage and play your part to help warm Scrooge’s frozen heart with parlour games & Christmas songs. You’ll leave with cheer in your heart a belly full of festive fayre and plum pudding!

Miss Hope Springs Christmas
Brasserie Zedel – Nearest tube is Piccadilly Circus, Exit 1

Miss Hope Springs
Miss Hope Springs – Christmas with a twist

Truly a woman and a half, Miss Hope Springs scandalous showbiz revelations about Christmas pool-parties in Bel-Air and the dire consequences of too much eggnog with an Englebert Humperdinck impersonator in a Malibu motel will leave you blushing. But there are plenty of Christmas songs to let you get your breath back!

The Red Shoes
Sadler’s Wells, Rosebery Avenue, London – Nearest tube is Angel

matthew-bourne-the-red-shoes

On a cold winter’s night, this has to be the most hotly anticipated show in town. Matthew Bourne’s The Red Shoes, follows his hugely acclaimed Nutcracker and Swan Lake, taking up Christmas residence at the home of dance, Sadler’s Wells right up until the end of January. Featuring glorious sets and costumes, The Red Shoes tells a heart-rending story in exceptional style.

Peter Pan
National Theatre, Upper Ground, South Bank, London SE1 9PX

Sally Cookson brings her wondrously inventive Peter Pan to the NT after a sell-out run at Bristol Old Vic. Exploring the possibilities and pain of growing up, it’s a riot of magic, mischief, music and make-believe.

Peter Pan Goes Wrong
Apollo Theatre, Shaftesbury Avenue, London, W1D 7ES

When it goes wrong, it goes very very wrong!
When it goes wrong, it goes very very wrong!

As the scenery collapses, props disappear, Nana gets herself stuck in the doggy door and three different actors seize their opportunity to play Pan, Peter Pan Goes Wrong strikes an impeccable balance between perfectly-timed slapstick and dazzlingly clever writing. Check out our interview with the cast!

The Little Match Girl
Sadler’s Wells, Rosebery Avenue, London – Nearest tube is Angel

The Little Match Girl at Sadler's Wells
The Little Match Girl at Sadler’s Wells

An impoverished young street girl wanders the ever-darkening streets with just one final match to keep her warm on a cold Christmas Eve. The Little Match Girl is a timeless fable about kindness and helping others, which will enthral young children and the whole family alike.

Cinderella
London Palladium, Argyll St, London W1F 7TF

Pantomime doesn’t come much more starry than Cinderella at the London Palladium: Amanda Holden, Paul O’Grady, Julian Clary, Lee Mead and Nigel Havers star in this big-budget extravaganza, with incredible sets and costumes, a horse-drawn carriage and even a flying sports car – The Palladium won’t know what’s hit it!

The Nutcracker
London Coliseum, St Martin’s Lane, London WC2N 4ES

Nothing says Christmas like English National Ballet's The Nutcracker.
Nothing says Christmas like English National Ballet’s The Nutcracker.

Over 100 dancers and musicians bring Nutcracker to life with exquisite dancing, beautiful sets and Tchaikovsky’s glorious score. A trip to English National Ballet’s Nutcracker in the splendour of the London Coliseum is an unforgettable Christmas treat.

The Adventures of Dick
Leicester Square Theatre, 6 Leicester Place, London WC2H 7BX

the-adventures-of-dick

Running riot in the West End, The Adventures of Dick is definitely adults only! Dusty ‘O’ leads this carnal romp into its fifth filthy year. London’s number one adult panto is a scintillating, riotously rude and utterly hilarious evening. WARNING! Not for the faint hearted or easily offended!

Potted Panto
Garrick Theatre, 2 Charing Cross Road, WC2H 0HH

potted-panto

Seven classic pantomimes in eighty hilarious minutes! Double Olivier nominees Dan and Jeff return for a fourth festive season of Potted Panto. Deliciously silly fun for all ages from the team behind Potted Potter.

A Christmas Carol
Arts Theatre, 6-7 Great Newport Street, London, WC2H 7JB

simon-callow-a-christmas-carol

Based on Dickens’ own performance of A Christmas Carol, Simon Callow and director-designer Tom Cairns have created a one-man theatrical extravaganza of festive story-telling that is both heart-warming and deeply moving. As the ghosts spirit Scrooge from the present to his past and future, Dickens takes us on a magical journey from the miser’s dank and creaking house to cosy hearths, and from snowy graveyards to joyful festivities.

Christmas performances in London are always popular, so don’t delay – book today!

Stuck for the perfect gift idea? Check our our 2016 must-haves for theatre fans!