Rome wasn’t built in a day. But Dagenham Definitely was.

That opening gag sets the tone for this brand new musical, which could have been a finely tuned Ford Capri but coughs, splutters and stalls at something between a Cortina and a hover-mower. Like an old banger, occasionally the jokes backfire. There are redeeming features – Gemma Arterton is likeable enough as trailblazing seamstress Rita…

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